New.

So it's been for a few months already aku finally dapat kerja tempat lain.. 
TBH it was a dificult year for me..
Aku drastically quit my previous job dekat Bangsar South atas sebab dan alasan yang tertentu.. Lol
So it was a dark time for me.. 
Aku kena reject dengan orang, lepas tu kena reject kerja lagi.. Haha 
So aku rasa macam aku dah takda arah masa tu.. 
Lost gila babas punya..
Tapi still aku try very hard to get a job..
Pula tu susah nak cari kerja...
Yela dengan ekonomi yang tak berapa nak helpful..
So bermula lah episode hitam aku selama 6 bulan tak berkerja..
6 bulan aku lost hope.. 
Aku hampir give up..
Every night aku susah hati sebab hutang dah keliling pinggang ni..

Orang yang aku harapkan untuk ada dengan aku pun tak nak dengan aku masa tu..
So aku fikir mungkin sebab aku ni jobless and hopeless takkan la nak dengan aku kan.
So better jangan kawan dia haha..
But I'm okay now..
Aku ada kawan kawan baik dengan aku masa tu..
Even my ex yang YIP pun always give me heads up..
Seriously aku serabut gila masa tu..
Kereta pun hampir kena tarik..
Ughh
 But now aku bersyukur aku dah lalui semua tu..
And I'm gonna focus on myself..
Even family aku, kawan aku pun suruh aku focus on myself to be better..
Macam tu la lebih kurang..

Aku tak nak lagi berada dalam situasi macam tu lagi..
Aku tak suka rasa useless, hopeless, rejection, feeling sad all the time and aku kurus..
From 85KG aku turun ke 74KG!!
Tapi now dah senang hati balik dah jadi 83KG balik hehe...
 Tapi tu lah.. Kalau aku tak rasa semua kat atas tu aku maybe tak sedar sedar lagi..
Apa yang aku kena utamakan, apa yang aku kena ubah and all lah kan..

So to those feeling down, kena reject, rasa hopeless..
Don't give up.. Just keep trying.. 
You'll never know what tomorrow could happen.
At the end of the day, you only could depend on yourself.
No one understands how you feel inside..
Keep it to yourself and move forward..
If you could through your hardship, your hard day or even your bad day..
You could through anything in your life..
There are a lot more things will happen to you..
Today's hardest thing will be easier tomorrow for you.
Because life teaches you..
And you learned from it..
Every
Fucking
Single
Day


 

One Hundred!

Wow..
Finally I reached the 100 post.
And today gonna be last weekend for Raya month.
I hope everyone had a blast.
I also hope I will get what I need.. You and a career growth..

So..
Semalam Nia datang from Terengganu..
I've met Nia long time ago kat rumah kawan Syuk..
Nia ialah kawan Syuk juga..
Lepas tu kitorang berkawan since then..
Jumpa masa tu je..
Pastu lamaa like few years after baru jumpa semula..
Tapi masa tu aku macam tak sihat sangat and jumpa Nia pun kejap je..
Then semalam jumpa sekali lagi..
Nia tolong kitorang masak laksam sebab memang tetamu kena masak kat rumah kitorang..
Lol..

 
Hari ni member member sekolah aku datang beraya kat rumah..
Dorang tak bawa makanan pun so aku la kena masak..
As usual.. Aku masak spaghetti..
Bolognese bukan prego okayyy..
Aku guna recipe aku sendiri buat bolognese tu..
So yang tadi datang Afzan, Sue, Raje, Megat, Jenny, Pieqa, Afiq, Tigha, and Zul
Hopefully jiran jiran tak marah sebab dorang ni kecoh gila..


Emm..
Rasanya lepas ni tak nak buat post name as number la..
Dah kena tukar kot rasanya..

Ini laksam yg dimasak chef Nia chef of the day on that day

Nia datang sebab nak tengok Salem je sebenarnya..
Masak tu macam 2nd reason why she's here..Haha

From left to right: Syuk, Zul, Piqa, Me and Salem, Jenny, Raje and Noah, Megat, Afiq & Tighaa

Afzan macam tertelan mic..
Sue suka berangan cantik dengan pakaian ala ala ikut trend..

P/s: awak yg tak sempat rasa bolognese saya sila lah claim lepas ni ye. Masak sama sama.. Acewahhh
 

NinetyNine.

I'm not sure why all song I played like mocking me..
It's not really a good time for me..
Everything I do lead to nothing that I want..
It's frustrating to think you don't even care.
Sorry is not the word that I'm looking for cuz you did nothing wrong..
You might see me smiling but I'm dead inside..
I know life goes on and you have your own life now..
It'll take forever for me to let you go..
Every time it's you I'm coming back to...

NinetyEight.

And then after a long wait for 14 years..
We've finally watched The Incredibles 2..
It was so fun!!
The action, the drama acewahh..
And how they figured out Jack Jack's powers..
It's just sooooo great!!
Sama macam Ocean's 8!
Both are great movie.. 
Thanks Aiman for the Ocean's 8 and duit raya and the dinner and the ride to the movie and home..
 

So what I've learn from that movie? 
Emm...
Dia macam ni..
Korang pernah tak rasa rimas or bosan dengan cara orang layan korang?
Tapi sebenarnya orang yang buat korang macam tu dia ambil berat pasal kita.
Macam parents kita..
Dia membebel, marah, nasihat, dan buat memacam yang kita tak suka..
Tapi actually itu untuk kebaikan kita sendiri..
Dan kita tak tau apa yang dorang dah berkorban untuk kita.

And that's apply to you too Monster..
You cared so much about me back then but I didn't see it..
I took you for granted and casted you away...
And the funny thing is now I wanna do the same to you if you let me.
I wanna take care of you like how you did to me..
Sounds cliche but this time I won't repeat the same mistakes..
If you ever give me another chance...


Annnnddd today adik sedara aku tunang..

From OU TO AU..
Lol.. We had our lunch/ dinner at OU
And then we went to AU2 for the movie..
Pergi OU semata nak makan je. ahahaha

NinetySeven.

Okay so today I went for an interview and it went kinda well..
But I don't really like it's environment over there and the guy doesn't seem to like me either..
Lol
Moving forward, on my way home..
As usual, I went crazy because there's a heartbroken song on the radio...
Then I talked to Siri which she's not helping at all...
I told her that I'm heartbroken and she just replied "Aww I'm sorry" and that's all...

Then I asked Siri if she could help me..
And she showed me what kind of thing she could help me with..
And I said to her "Call XXX"
ANDDDDD SHE CALLED THAT PERSON..
I didn't know that she could catch that name because usually, she couldn't...
So the phone called that person and I hung up the phone before the line connected to that person line.
I thought my call didn't reach the other party's phone and I forget about it..

So I reach home and talked to Salem and told her about my day..
Salem seems interested with my story and replies meow for a few times lol...
Then suddenly my phone got a text... From that person..
You know what is the first word came out? Lol
It's "Yaww"
Like yaww what? 

I didn't text that person for a few days now (2 days lol)..
Because I wanna believe that I'm in a phase and it's only temporary that I want us to be together...
But it's really killing me slowly...
Everything seems not right.
So if you read this please know that I still want you back in my life.
Very bad...
Very very very bad...
Monster
 

 This is our Salem.
Isn't she's pretty?
I miss her everytime I went out and I can't wait to go back home and call her name.

Ninetysix.

So Raya is tomorrow.
I'm not really excited though lol..
So aku ni team raya KL seperti biasa..
Was thinking to start hitting the gym on the second day of raya..
Sebab aku raya sehari je liddat..
Trololol

So again..
Aku baru sihat dari demam sekali lagi since Monday..
Hari ni rasa okay sikit..
I'm not sure why I'm getting so much fever lately.

So di kesempatan ini..
Boleh la aku meminta maaf dan ampun kepada saudara saudari..
Andai ada tersilap kata, terlanjur bicara tersakitkan hati and so on..
Minta maaf dipinta. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
Hehe.

But to this one particular person.
I honestly am sorry for what I've done to you.
.
.
.
.

Actually banyak lagi aku compose tapi aku tak nak la publish here..
Nanti kau rasa aku ni macam desperate sangat pula which I already am.. Lol
Anyway..
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri..
Maaf zahir dan batin..
Beware of raya meals...
You don't need those extra weight... 
Cheers ; )

NinetyFive.

Ini post nak meratap sikit..
Lol

Pernah tak korang rasa attached with someone..
Dia bukan family member...
Bukan relative pun..
Just a stranger came to your life and changed you..
Lepas tu korang get attached...
Macam tau perangai dia and senang dengan kehadiran dia..

Macam aku la kan..
Aku ada lol
Apa aku buat is..
Aku tolak jejauh orang tu
Lepas tu a few months later..
I need that person back in my life
But it was too late
And I was devastated...
Down to the core
And did something I never did before in my life...

But let's face it..
We all make mistakes and we're trying to make it right again..
 Eventhough it seems very hard to do it we're still wanna try to do it...
And makin panjang aku typing aku rasa makin merepek dah..
Raya tinggal few days je..
So hopefully you guys well prepared!!

 Semalam masa berbuka dengan Syuk kat TGIF Wangsa WalkFirst time berbuka kat luar tahun ni bulan ramadan

NinetyFour.

So how life going on?
We're surviving aren't we?
Rasa macam puasa this year lama sikit sebab aku macam banyak kali tak sihat lol
Lepas demam yang seminggu tu aku demam semula few days after..
Tapi sehari jela which is alhamdulillah still sihat till now.
Sakit kan penghapus dosa kecil acewwaahhh..
And alhamdulillah puasa pun masih penuh..

Tadi around 8am like that masa tengah buat kerja tetiba aku rasa lapar
Awal lagi kot nak rasa lapar..
Lepas tu dalam 10am macam tu tetiba rasa haus pula..
Wehh wehh awal awal nak rasa lapar & dahaga dah kenapa ekk..
So... Aku pun bagi la makan...
Makan dengan ibadah dan zikir...
wakakakaka.. 



P/s: Hari ni macam nak berbuka roti john je.. *MACAM*

NinetyThree.

Kejap je dah hampir separuh Ramadan..
Nak raya ke tak?
Lol
Macam biasa kalau dah nak raya aku jeles ngan kawan kawan aku yang balik ke kampung..
Sebab aku takda kampung..
Ada pun kat Klang ngan Langat je lol
Balik hari..

Pastu the next day dah dok rumah dediam je..
Macam last year aku pergi main game ngan Ijat..
Hahahaha bebudak sungguh..
Tapi nasib kau la takda kampung kan..
Few years back masa raya abah ajak pergi ke kampung akak ipar ngan abang ipar kitorang..
Tapi since last year dah tak buat dah gitu..
Masa pergi kampung orang tu merasa la juga balik kampung kan..
Walaupun sampai sana sewa hotel.. LOL
Tapi kitorang gerak raya ke-2 la sebab raya first beraya kat KL dulu..

Kalau korang nak datang rumah beraya takyah la..
Jarang terima tetamu la kat rumah.. 
Kecuali member member yg tak reti malu macam bebudak uni ngan sekolah..
Oh membr TRCKL pun tak tau malu gak hahaha..

Selamat beribadah puasa semua..
And ohh.. I've activated my instagram cuz I'm bored like that.. And then my twitter gone forever cuz I'm reckless and forgot to activate it back when I should.. Guess it's for the best? No?
 
P/s: Tips kalau korang tengah haus masa puasa : amik air segelas.. Tenung sekejap.. Pastu togak minum.. kompem hilang haus.. Wakakaka..

Ninetytwo.

Salam Ramadhan.
Aku dah 2 hari demam ni.
Masa pepagi buta around 3AM to 5AM badan aku menggigil macam orang gila.
Lol.
And 2 kali kena macam tu.
Menggigil gila beb.
Sejuk gila rasa.
And then siang macam sekarang ni okay je pula.
But puasa must go on okay.. Haha

Anyway..
Pernah tak korang menyesal dengan keputusan yang korang buat dulu?
Yeaapp.. I have a lot and mostly I can accept it and let it go...
But there's one thing in particular and it involve someone else yang aku tak boleh nak let it go..
Aku nak betulkan or dengan kata lain aku nak dia balik dalam hidup aku.
Semua benda yang aku buat dulu aku rasa menyesal and aku tak patut buat..
Now it's too late I guess..
Seriously it really drive me crazy and thinking of doing something bad.
Tapi nasib baik masih boleh kawal lagi..
(iman didada walaupun tak kuat tapi ada lagi.. Hehe)

Aku masih berharap dia dapat terima aku semula..
Dia cakap dia dah maafkan aku and dia tak salahkan aku pun..
Tapi aku tau aku yang salah and it really kills me slowly..
Aku dah cuba lupakan tapi tak boleh..
And it's getting hard on me bila aku start cakap kat dia pasal ni..
Sebelum ni aku simpan je apa aku rasa sebab aku in denial (seriously?)

Tapi sekarang dah lambat dah..
Aku cakap kat dia aku akan tunggu sampai dia berubah hati and fikiran..
Dia cakap memula jangan tunggu sebab aku boleh dapat someone better..
(Lol the same word aku pernah cakap kat dia and aku kena balik)
Then dia cakap "who knows if I changed my mind later on."
And it give me a little spark of hope (acewahh) 

So korang korang yang baca ni..
Hargai orang yang sayang korang..
Hargai orang yang jaga korang, terima baik buruk korang..
Kang jadi macam aku menyesal tak sudah.
And thanks to my friends yang sentiasa ada bila aku down terukk..
Especially housemate aku, Syuk.
Also Jenny and Myra.




I miss us.. And you do too..
I know

Ninetyone.

Kita boleh google pasal haiwan. 
How to make an interaction or how to keep your pet alive and others. 
But for a person it's totally different.
Even you've heard or watch on how to do it on internet or from someone it'll never be the same.

A single person could hold so many thoughts in a second.
And we can never read their mind.
And sometime you can never understand yourself.
Lol

And that's why people come and go.
But family remains.
Aku pun ada je pernah merasa orang pergi and datang and then pergi balik.
Lol

Anywayy...  aku sekarang tengah buat experiment to myself.
To never use Instagram & Twitter.
I wanna try it up to 6 months. 
Let see if I could do it.